Sometimes I feel like a submarine plowing my way through the murky deep and only emerging from the depths once in awhile to gather data and see what's going on. Sometimes I don't totally emerge, I just send up a periscope or antenna. That's why "presence" is first on my list of resolutions for 2012.
I didn't realize how much blogging -- this blog anyway -- helped me with "presence." The acts of sitting down, staring at the blank screen and pondering what to write force me to looking around and see where I am. Today's topic is a simple one -- plunging from Sundays into Mondays.
I've written about this before. I've had jobs that ruined Sundays for me. Why? Because Sundays came before Mondays and Mondays meant "back to work." The more I hated my job, the worse Sundays were.
After this past holiday weekend during which the most productive things I did included whipping up a batch of potato leek soup and signing up for a new trash removal/recycling service, I found myself becoming tense as 4:00 p.m. rolled around. Rather than jumping into my typical overdrive in an attempt to complete everything before the work week started, I grabbed some tea, sat down and thought about it.
My anxiety wasn't about re-entering a work week or hating my job. It was about ending a restful and enjoyable holiday. Since I'm not that good at relaxing and enjoying myself (yet), it's not normal for me to feel guiltless on a Sunday evening. Leisure is not a normal milieu for me, but I can get used to it.
That short period of tension ebbed as I realized, perpetual Pollyanna that I am, that there's no Monday in this work week. Next weekend will be here before I know it. What to do, what to do?